visiting

I miss the old days....even though I didn't live in those times, I miss them. I read so many books that describe them to me and they sound so nice.

You know the ones I mean.....the ones where you were at home all day because town was too far away to walk and you had no car, only horses. You had chores to do, but basically you stayed home to bake bread and keep the fire burning and people would stop in periodically and you would put the tea pot or coffee pot on and sit and have some with your visitor, along with some fresh baked pastry, cookies or bread. You would sit and chat relaxed and if it was close to supper time you wouldn't worry if there would be enough for all of you, but you would ask the person to stay to supper and it would be a lovely time of visiting.

Doesn't sound too familiar to these times though....run, run, run....go here, do this.....run run run......clean the house, what am I going to make for supper???? will there be enough???/ and if anybody stops in, what am I going to do???? let out the dog....go go go...Don't forget to let the dog back in or bad things happen to him.......heh hehhh.... I'm out of breath and energy.

Does anyone Else's life feel this way. I so enjoyed the last week off.....no homeschooling, just trying to keep the house somewhat clean and get some projects done. It was awesome. And now I'm looking forward to Christmas vacation already... :-) But for now, it's back to school. Although one thing I'm thankful for is that we only have one co-op to go to between now and January 12th. woo hoo!!

I think even though we are doing school today....that I will make a pie or some bread....build a fire in the fireplace and keep it burning......try to relax. Have a cup of tea. And pray my children will oblige me with not arguing with each other over trivial things.

Have a good day everyone and I hope the few of you who read this aren't going into shock because I wrote twice in one week.....I'm sure it won't last.... hee hee :-)

Joy

I realize lately that I'm lacking joy....why is that?

I know the Bible says to "rejoice", "be joyful"....why can't I seem to hold on to it. Is it everyone that struggles with it or just me. I think the everyday....monotony can wear on you after a while. I'm trying to change my outlook or uplook :-) How can I make each day more than the "normal" school and chore day? hm? I need to appreciate my children more. Like the one that has an endless imagination and keeps the other two thinking and creating. The one that is so happy and cheerful no matter what is happening. The one that is thinking and processing things and is always in the mood to cuddle. How can I look past all the aggrevating behavior and have tunnel vision on the "good"? I'm thinking maybe a service project to get their focus off of themselves is in order. It would be good for me too.

"You will show me the path of life;

in Your presence is fullness of joy

at Your right had are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11

"For His anger is but for a moment,

His favor is for life;

Weeping may endure for a night,

But joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

"But now I come to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have

My joy fulfilled in themselves." John 17:13

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials." James 1:2

just a few little nuggets to keep us going through another day.

"Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice."

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday I think. I love the food we have. I love having family around. I even like the weather. We finally get a break from all those hot and humid days and it's not snowing yet (usually). I remember Thanksgivings back on the farm. Usually my married sisters would come home with their families. My grandparents would be there and maybe an uncle and aunt or two. I remember always having this bowl that looked sort of like wood, that held the mixed nuts (still in the shell). There were also little places in the dish that held the nut crackers and pickers. I didn't really enjoy eating the nuts, but boy were they fun to crack. My mom also had this reddish-orange, glass dish with a black base that she put a fruit "bouquet" in....at least that is what it looked like to me....draping grapes and bananas, beautiful fragrant oranges and shiny red apples, a bountiful looking thing. We would usually make a fire in the fireplace with those special color logs that I always got so excited about, but they never really produced the colors that I had imagined them to. I remember one year after I had been saved, I made all the place cards and had spent hours looking up a different "thankful" verse to put on each one. My mom had gotten the idea one holiday to put an older white cloth tablecloth on and have everyone write their names or greetings on it. Later on we were to embroider it and applique fall material on in the shapes of leaves and turkeys. One of those 1980 something tablecloths is still in the basement "in progress". I love all those memories. My only regret is that we live so far away that we can't use those tablecloths with family. I have always longed to have that kind of thanksgiving again. The kind where you set the table with your prettiest and fanciest dishes and silverware and glasses....everything is sparkling in candlelight and you "sit" down with all your loved ones and share a prayer, conversation and a beautiful dinner. I'm losing my energy bit by bit to do such a thing....fibromyalgia is starting to take it's toll.

For the last 17 years we have been involved in a different version of thanksgiving, which has it's good points, but also it's bad. The good points are eating a Thanksgiving dinner, a bit of fellowship with family and looking at the black Friday ads. One time a couple of us actually left and went shopping....that was different and entertaining. There use to be a football game in the front yard, but that generation is getting older and more fragile. (me included) :-)

I've been reading a historical fiction series by Jeanette Oke and I realized that we can get caught up in the whole tradition thing and we need to just enjoy the holidays for what they are at the time. In these books when they are stuck in the middle of nowhere in the early 1900's, no turkey, no fixings, no family.....eating biscuits made out of bear lard and beaver on their plate...it makes me appreciate the foam plates, warm house, plenty of traditional food and family.

I am thankful that I have family and that they are for the most part healthy even though they are far away. I am thankful for the family we have here although it is not the same. I'm thankful that God has blessed us with a family, a warm house, food, clothes on our backs and the ability to have people over for dinner whether it be for Thanksgiving or just dinner.

What do you do for thanksgiving? What are your traditions? Make some new ones, enjoy the old, cherish the memories and be thankful........maybe I should remind myself of all the thankful verses :-)

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Self Reflection

Who are we? Why do we react the way we do to things? What makes us happy go lucky or angry and bitter? Was it the way we were brought up? Was it the things that happened to us in life? Was it simply the way God made us? These are the questions that are going around and around in my head.

I was reflecting on the object lesson (or whatever more educated people want to call it) about the mother who had three pots of boiling water. In one she put a carrot, in another she put an egg and in the last pot she put coffee. She and her child went back later to find things changed. The carrot which had been rigid in the beginning was now soft. The egg which had gone in fragile, came out hard. The last pot contained the coffee and it wasn't any different, but it had changed the water. Now if you haven't heard this before, the water represents trials or hard times we are going through. How do we react? like the carrot who went in strong but when it was all over with, it was a squishy thing or the egg who went in fragile but came out hardened, or the coffee that actually had an effect on the water by changing it into something good.

At first I was thinking I know someone who is the egg. I didn't know what I was....I didn't want to be the egg, but I also knew that I wasn't the coffee. It wasn't until I made that statement aloud at the dinner that my wise husband said...."I think we are all of them at times." I guess he is right. I wish I was the coffee all the time.

Another one that has been going through my head is the one where we are like a cup. Whatever we are full of, is what comes out when we get "bumped" (trials). I know that at times the things that come out are not very pleasing to God. I have tried to empty myself of me...to have God empty me of me,k but to no avail. I believe that constant thought has to go into every reaction we have....we have that split second before we react to make a conscious decision whether or not we are going to please Him or not. Apparently my flesh wins that split second battle ......a lot. :-(

I don't want to grow up....(sounds funny) to be bitter and angry like people I know.....I don't want to growl all the time. I don't want people to frustrate me at every turn, but they do. I want to be pleasing to Him at all times. James wasn't kidding when he said that "No man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. with it we bless our God and Father and with it we curse men. Who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so."

So......which are you? the carrot?, the egg?, or the coffee? What is your cup full of?

blogging

Why is it that the thing that gets me to blog is trying to comment on someone Else's blog and realizing that I don't even know my own password on here because it's been so long.

Soooooo, hello again all. Things are always bustling around here. sickness, co-op, stressful mammogram ordeal, mom's cataract surgery, debit card # stolen and sold to the world, garage door hit by new driver, chapel, conferences, (forgetting to go let the dog out during that 7 hours), did I mention sickness?, trying to do the everyday things like laundry, dishes (what would I do without the dishwasher my husband "forced" on me a couple of years ago), cleaning, nagging my children to do their chores, taking the dog outside, taking him to the vet, groceries, oh, and don't forget home school, and then feeling guilty because the night I told someone that I would come to a meeting, I wasn't feeling well (such cramps I was curled up in a ball on my bed) and now she is not speaking to me..... this is when that saying "stop the world, I wanna get off" comes to mind.

I keep telling my friend Lori that we need to purge. But what out of those things can you purge? Because I need something to keep me sane... so I add to the list, sewing. I actually have approximately 5 quilts in the works and a list of other ideas swimming around in my head. I have a whole years worth of scrapbooking to catch up on before the end of the year. And could I just tell you what a mess my craft room is...whoooey!! That is my project for today. Do you think I'll get to it? Maybe not, but I will......have breakfast with my mommy, because she won't be here forever, cuddle with my hubby and kids, sew a little, do some laundry, talk to my sisters, make some meals and hopefully close the pool....(because playing in that freezing water is not good for the joints....eeeks!). And to add to the whole day add the fact that I'm up at 3:00am on the computer, may not go back to bed....hm, sounding like maybe my to-do list is tooooo long.....

I love my life, really I do. It is stressful and hectic, but it is mine and the Lord is always gracious to supply just the right amount of patience and strength to help me endure. Sure, there are tears, but I think He lets those flow to release the pressure on the valve. :-)

"then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble and He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death and broke their chains in pieces."

Psalm 107

"You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle, are they not in Your book?"

Psalm 56:8

"for He knows the secrets of the heart" Psalm 44:21

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and He shall sustain you;" Psalm 55:22

"In God I have put my trust, I will not be afraid, what can man do to me?"

"surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me" Psalm 131

And I know that He always give me the sleep I need..."for so He gives His beloved sleep"

Psalm 127

These are the truths that I try to focus on during the chaos of everyday life. I struggle with focusing on myself too much and am praying that the Lord would help me to focus on others more. I believe the more I do that, the sweeter it will be.

GRATEFUL

Before I start let me just say I'm having one of those...."is that spelled right" moments. You know where you write or type something and it looks extremely strange to you. So I'm hoping the title is spelled correctly.

There are times I feel totally overwhelmed with life and all it's complications. The littlest task of getting the kids up in the morning can be draining. The youngest isn't a problem, he seems to be a morning person like his mother. But the two girls are a challenge. I've yet to find anything besides yelling in there 4 or 5 times that gets them up....and yes I've even tried ice cubes, but that only provoked to anger (which is a no no). Then there is the housework and schoolwork and little extras like birthday parties and such and all of it seems to be never ending. So it is such a joy when in the middle of what seems chaotic you get a little surprise that you never saw coming.

I feel bad that summer went by and Amy talked of having a party of some kind. My husband said to let them plan their parties and I said, relieved "o.k.". But the problem was they aren't very good decision makers yet, so hemming and hawing (sp ?) took place and nothing was ever done, because of the cost of it mostly. So here we are almost 2 months after the fact and I finally am able to take a deep breath and do some thinking after months of illness after illness and say...."gee, I feel bad that she wanted a party and never got one". So here we are planning a spur of the moment tea party with all the trimmings. I even went as far as to take down all the items that usually decorate my dinning room walls, like cursive writing charts, the ten commandments, Language charts and maps and replace them with Victorian themed items like gold framed pictures and lace doilies and such. We even found a wire floral decoration at goodwill for $.99. Can't beat that. We went to the dollar store and bought fake cut glass vases (plastic) and silk flowers. We've put the lace table cloth on and got out all my antique serving dishes that never see a table on any occasion. We've purchased little tiny cakes and cookies and in the morning I will be making chicken salad and egg salad for the main food and running to the store to purchase grapes. While we were getting the table ready I asked Amy if she would make a list for me, for tomorrow. So she promptly got out the pen and paper and started writing (with her new colorful pens from the dollar store). Then she handed it to me with a gentle little smile on her face. At the top it said "Thank you so much Momma for everything! I love you!" My heart melted. I had been feeling like maybe I was going overboard with detail, but I knew that it was all worth it and she was happy with it just how it was and I didn't need to worry about trying to make it better. What a feeling these days to have a child be thankful for something and express it so lovingly. She is my middle child who sits quietly by and watches the other two play baseball, ride horses, take drivers ed. She hardly ever complains about sitting by and watching it all happen. What a joy to be able to do something special for her. I'm sure we will have a wonderful day. And an extra blessing, yesterday I was actually entertaining the idea of making an "old days" dress for her in the middle of everything and then the Lord provided one from the salvation army for only $6 and 5 minutes of shopping time....that is way better than $25 for material and who knows how many hours of sewing....and it looks way better too.. :-)

Another thing to be grateful about. My son was blessed with receiving a lot of little things from his siblings and quite a few (about 20) hotwheels cars from his parents and money from grandma and an aunt. When he was counting up all the cash his dad asked if there was something that he didn't get that maybe he wanted to buy to which he replied "nothing". He thanked us many times afterwards for all his presents and loved the rice krispie treats shaped as baseball paraphernalia. In fact yesterday he asked me about 3 times "mom, did you get me this car?, cuz I really like it! Praise the Lord for these little things that cut right through my overwhelmed feelings and let me know that I may be doing a few things right. :-)

And on that note I'd better try to go back to bed, it's going to be a busy day. Errands to run, school books to order, party to have, girls to entertain and then drive 30 minutes to take them home, then home to make supper....hm, wonder what that is going to be? Gortons fish fillets sound like just the thing. ♥

feeling the rain

I made a list a few years ago....at the request of my husband. The list he wanted me to make was a list of my needs. Seems kind of funny, but he wanted to know how to keep me happy...

I don't remember a lot of what I wrote on there, but the first thing, I think, was being warm and dry. I hate being wet and cold. Last week at Jeremy's baseball game it was a fine mist coming down constantly for about the first 45 minutes. At first I was thinking, "yuck!!, I hate being wet". But then something hit me. How do I know that I'm alive? Life starts getting into the same rut, you start to feel like a robotic gerbil on the proverbial wheel. And it hit me that sometimes the uncomfortable things in life are just the thing you need to make you remember that you are not a robotic rodent on the wheel, you are a living, breathing human being created by God. He doesn't want us to live in bondage to the busyness of life. He wants us to take a moment to breathe, feel the rain and remember that He created us for His glory. We are not meant to run on the "world's" wheel. So I took my rain coat off and felt that misty wetness settling on my skin and you know what?, I didn't melt. It kind of woke me up. Now I'm not saying I want to stand in a soaking cold rain and then stand in the cold until I eventually dry off. Been there and done that and I'm pretty sure it wasn't my favorite thing. But, I will take more opportunities to do these things more. So go out there and experience the humidity, the rain, the snow, the cold, the creek, the rocks, the mud. I'm going to be doing a bit more of that.